There have been times where I went back and forth emailing a girl and our rapport was great. She totally seemed into me. Her responses weren’t short and the tone of her emails were upbeat. Then when I went to ask for the digits, she suddenly disappeared. I felt dejected. Here I was having a great email conversation with a girl I was certain was digging my chili, and then she suddenly began ignoring me.
I did something wrong…
I didn’t realize it at the time. With the girl I’m referring to, I simply asked for her phone number too quickly. I rushed things. I didn’t even attempt to get her into a conversation via IM first. That was a huge mistake. We had been discussing our favorite sex positions (mine is doggystyle, in case you wondered!). She let me know that was also hers. So the next email I sent, I straight up asked for her digits.
What’s wrong with that? A couple of things. Mostly, I made her feel like I was trying to get her into bed too quickly. She has a husband at home that she’s got to worry about catching her cheating. She only knew me from the few emails I sent her. So why would she trust me enough already to give me her phone number? Women on cheating sites are very cautious. They don’t just give out their phone numbers to anyone for obvious reasons. You have to build trust before she’s going to give it out. I didn’t do that.
The other reason I screwed up was because I asked for digits right in the middle of a discussion about sex positions. Yeah, I know it was on a hookup site. So I’m sure you’re thinking that’s what the women on there are looking for. And it is. But by asking for digits in the middle of a discussion about doggystyle sex, I may have made her felt like a cheap whore. She probably is a cheap whore, but I wasn’t going to get laid by making her feel that way.
I quickly learned something…
It’s best to chat via Instant Message before phone calls and texts. Don’t even ask for her phone number until you’ve chatted via IM. If she gives you her digits beforehand, that’s great. And some women would be willing to give you their cell phone number without chatting on IM, but you are taking too much of a risk by asking for it.
With all that said, you still need to be aggressive and not wait too long to take the conversation beyond emailing. If you wait too long, she might find someone else that’s got the balls to ask for her number. Women lose interest in a man quickly if he doesn’t make a move.
Exchange a couple of emails, let her know you’re definitely interested in getting to know her, and then ask for her Instant Message screen name. Give her yours first just to make her feel comfortable. Women tend to respond positively to men that give out their info first. It makes them feel comfortable enough to give you their info.
The best way to ask for her IM is to say something like, “I’m enjoying talking to you, but it’s more convenient to chat via IM. My Yahoo! Messenger screen name is iwill69urmomtonite. Send me a message when you get this on Yahoo! or give me your screen name and I’ll hit you up. Let’s chat tonight!”
The next thing you have to do is knock ‘em dead in your IM conversation. It really only takes one good IM chat to make her ready to let you hop on top of her. A couple hours of your time and, if you play your cards right, you could be making sweet love to her as soon as the next time both of you are available.
Be charming, sexy, intelligent, and funny. Take it easy on perverted talk. Obviously you’re really just after sex, and she knows that. But she wants to have sex with a guy that can hold a conversation about something other than sex. And she’s unlikely to be attracted to a disgusting pig. Besides, you don’t need to tell her in great detail what you want to do to her in the bedroom. If you impress her via IM, chances are you’re going to actually get to do those things. I don’t know about you but I prefer banging a chick rather than talking about banging a chick. But that’s just me.
Okay, so assuming you run some decent game via IM, you can either try to set up a “date”. Or you can move exchange cell phone numbers. Some of the women you chat with won’t want to give out their digits in fear of their husband finding out. Don’t be offended, it’s normal. Heck, you might not want to give out your digits either.
A successful IM conversation ends in a date being set up. Don’t just ask for it right away. Build some rapport with her first. Make sure she’s clearly into you based on her responses. Is she laughing at your jokes? Is she giving you more than 1-2 word responses? Is she sending annoying smiley faces? If so, she wants your cock. So give it to her!
Tell her, don’t ask her
Women like to be told what to do. They’re generally very submissive. And sometimes they’re clueless as to how to answer a simple question. If you ask her for a date, she might have to think for a while if she really wants to. Women get confused easily. If you tell her “let’s get together tomorrow night at Applebee’s for dinner. My treat”, she’s less likely to say no. Asking for a date shows less confidence than telling her to meet you somewhere.
If you’re not prepared to ask her for a “date” (or whatever you want to call it) and you’re certain she’s digging you, ask for her digits first. It’s very simple. Ease her worries by telling her, you understand her issues with giving out her phone number and that you won’t contact her via text until she’s contacted you first. Then give her your number and say, “now that I’ve given you my digits, can I have yours?”
Flirting Like a Champion Via Instant Message and Text Messages
Getting laid is incredibly easy if you know how to flirt. Women are suckers for guys that are fun to talk to and can make them laugh. Some of the goofiest looking guys I know bang some of the hottest skanks you’ll ever see because they know how to flirt. My buddy, Chris, is handsome (no homo). I’m talking boyish good looks and a great body (no homo). Women look at him and, if they had penises, would become visibly aroused. Dude gets less pussy than a prude.
Chris has no game. He can’t flirt. He uses his good looks to get women interested in him. But he never goes home with a girl because he puts them to sleep. My other friend, Sean, is the exact opposite. He’s got a goofy nose and is a bit overweight. Put him and Chris in the same bar on the same night, and I guarantee Sean is first to walk out of their with a girl. Dude has some serious game. He doesn’t get initial positive reactions from women because of his looks, but he builds up attraction because he knows how to talk to them.
If he wasn’t already making bank selling insurance, I’d hire Sean to teach flirting classes. I consider myself pretty darn good at flirting, but I learned much of it from him. So what does this story have to do with IM, text message, and phone conversation flirting? Almost everything. The only difference between flirting in person and over the phone/computer is you can flirt with physical contact in person. Otherwise, it’s basically the same.
Flirting Can Overcome Physical Imperfections
There’s no doubt in my mind that the better looking guys online are at an advantage. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about that if you aren’t one of the better looking guys. It’s all about how you flirt. Can you make her laugh? Do you know how to tease her without offending her? If so, you’re going to get laid even if you aren’t the best looking guy. Here’s the proof…
I signed Sean and Chris up for AshleyMadison.com and they placed a $100 wager. The first to get laid by an attractive female (I determined if the woman was attractive or not) from that site was the winner. I was actually confident Chris would win because of his looks. I had seen Sean have better luck offline with women, but I was certain women would never get past Sean’s not-so-great appearance online. Was I right? Let’s find out…
Without surprise, Chris was receiving more emails from women. I don’t think Sean receive one email from a girl he didn’t contact first (no surprise). But Sean was able to charm a couple of women and convince them to chat via IM. Chris, on the other hand, had absolutely no problems getting women to want to chat with him via IM. It was probably 10-2 in terms of conversations they had with women in the first couple of days. This wasn’t going to go well for Sean. If nothing else, the Law of Averages should work in Chris’ favor. Not so fast, my friend!
Chris’ conversations were all pretty much the same. He simply used his physical appearance to his advantage and showed his true side – his disgusting pervert persona. Sean took a different approach. His conversations were less about sex and more about playfully teasing the girl and making her laugh. He used his great personality to his advantage.
But still, we’re talking about women that are mostly just looking for sex. So a charming personality is only going to get you so far. He still needed to give them a reason to sleep with him. Humor is all fine and dandy, but it’s not going to single handedly get you laid, and he knew that. He’s done this sort of thing a time or two. So he stepped up his game and became more aggressive.
He built a rapport with her and then he moved the conversation onto a discussion about sex. The difference between how Sean talked about sex and how Chris talked about sex the level of class. Chris was all about being graphic and detailed on exactly what he wanted to do to the girl. I don’t think he once even asked one of the girls what they were into. It was all about him and he was very graphic. Sean was less graphic and made sure to let the woman know he’s a giver as much as he is a receiver. This makes women feel special.
The end result of their IM chats was a bit surprising. Chris had no luck. Not one single girl was interested in meeting him. They all either came up with an excuse as to why they can’t get together or just ignored him completely. Sean did meet a very attractive woman, slept with her about a week later, and won his $100. I took a look over their chat logs because I wanted to learn something from it.
IM and Text Message Flirting Tips
- Immediately build rapport with her by making her feel comfortable.
- Don’t jump right into talking about sex even though sex is the reason you’re both on the site.
- Let her dictate the topic of discussion, but always be in complete control of the conversation.
- Tease her about the silly things she says or claims to do. If she admits to being a lousy speller, make fun of her for it. Don’t make fun of her because her ass looks big in one of her photos. Those type of comments offend women.
- Flirting should be done in a light-humored way. Funny comments that are non-offensive work best. Women are easy to humor because they laugh at stupid crap.
Flirting Keeps Her Interested
Rambling on and on about your life story will bore a woman to death. This isn’t a way to charm her and make her want you. Flirting is how you make her become interested in sleeping with you. Women aren’t as visual as men. We see a hot piece of ass and she could say anything to us and we’d sleep with her. She could tell us we’re the biggest loser she’s ever met and, if offered, we’d hop into bed with her in a heartbeat. Women look for more than that – even the women just out for sex.
We can all learn a valuable lesson from my friends. You can use your looks to get you laid all you want, and sometimes it does work, but being able to flirt with a girl is more important. Remember to tease her, refrain from being a disgusting pig, and mix in some humor when you chat with her via IM or text message.