The Beauty and the Douche

I’m not your average girl. I’m not average when it comes to looks, personality, or talent. I don’t consider myself stuck-up, but I know guys think I’m hot and I’m I have a dominant personality. I’m not into men that are average looking and are boring. I need someone that can keep up with my outgoing personality. And I simply cannot get aroused by some fat, ugly dude. If you think that makes me shallow and snobbish, I don’t really care. I know what I want and I know I can get it, whenever I want it.

I simply cannot get aroused by some fat, ugly partner

I simply cannot get aroused by some fat, ugly partner

The reason I mentioned all of that is because I am now married to that exact type of guy. He’s put on at least 90 pounds of fat since we got married and no longer cares about his appearance. He was once very outgoing, but now he just likes to sit home and watch TV. I have no interest in having sex with him anymore – at least not until he goes back to being the outgoing, hot guy he used to be.

If I don’t cum, it’s the fault of the guy

If I don’t cum, it’s the fault of the guy

Sex is something I need regularly. And it has to be good sex. If I don’t cum, it’s the fault of the guy. I want to fuck a man that knows how to get a woman off. My husband can’t do that for me anymore because it’s too hard for me to get aroused. Just the thought of his fat belly hovering over his penis makes me want to puke.

 

It was time to do something about it…

It was time to do something about it…

I tried encouraging the Old Man to get in shape. He’s too damn lazy. Spending a half hour a day at the gym means he would have to cut 30 minutes off of his Netflix watching. That’s not going to happen. And I’m done trying to convince this sissy-boy to do it for me, so I decided I would take matters into my own hands. I signed up for AshleyMadison.com and have been getting laid like a sexy bitch such as myself deserves!

My experience on AshleyMadison.com was quite entertaining, to say the least. There were a surprising amount of hot men on there, but I had as much fun fucking with the ugly dudes. You wouldn’t believe how many nasty guys contacted me with perverted lines. A few wanted to know if I would do anal (no thanks). Some wanted to know if I would have a 3-some (yes, but not if you’re ugly). But my favorite was this one guy that went on about how romantic and sweet he is and that he is looking for more than just sex. Wrong website, idiot!

There were many of hotties that contacted me (not surprising). It was tough to choose between them. Honestly, I probably should have done them all. I met a guy named John soon after signing up. John lived just a few blocks from my house and was in a marriage with a woman that let herself go. So we had something in common. I wouldn’t consider him ridiculously hot, but he’s cute and, most of all, knows how to fuck! We’ve spent a lot of passionate evenings together, and he can thank my douchebag husband for them.